My Fannish Heart

[geoviki]

How did 11 months go by without me posting? Like this: whooooosh!

So hi, everyone who still might be here. I never imagined myself turning into an LJ lurker, but apparently I have. I still click on my flist all the time, but I've just felt, I dunno, thinking that my fannish interests and little life stories would just be dull reading. But so many of you have popped up on LJ recently that I feel inspired! However, I'll break it down into separate posts so you're not overwhelmed by TMI.


This is Big Reason #1 why I haven't posted. I seem to be involved in fannish material with no active fandoms. Or else I haven't found the bulk of the activity. And none of my current interests seem to be what I see the rest of you into, sadly. Most of you are big into Sherlock, and of course I've watched the BBC episodes and enjoyed them. And I started to read some of the fanfic, and being the great writers that you are, they were great. But. You know how you discover sometimes that you just aren't falling for a fandom? You know your friends love it, their recommendations are heart-felt and moving, but it's just not working that way for you. Well, it seems like I just can't help but friend-zone Sherlock. And the same goes for the other big fandom, Avengers/Marvel. And how sorry I am that I can't feel that love in the same way you do.

Instead, I always seem to fall for the class geek these days.

Last year I waxed poetic about my newfound love for the manga series Loveless. I know there are 2 or 3 of you who also got into it at one point. A year later, I'm still interested in it. The big problem, though, is that there is no longer an active fandom for it, as far as I can tell. And the major reason for that (er, I mean apart from the fact that it doesn't have much source material, and it's a Japanese-based manga) is that the writer herself is blatantly bored with continuing it and hasn't written any new plot (only filler) for over a year, leaving everyone hanging. This is a series that began in 2002. Those 28 important plot questions that I listed last year? Are still hanging without resolution, and a few more have been added to the list. So its once-active fandom basically has moved on to other things. I feel like I showed up to a party about an hour after everyone has gone home, and I'm poking around the potato chip crumbs and melted ice in the punch bowl, thinking that it looks like it was fun.

My new, new fandom is yet another manga, Saiyuki. This one is a little more active as far as I can tell, but I'm too new to be connected yet. I'm in the read-every-bit-of-original-material and inhale-all-of-the-fic stage. And a surprising amount of the fic is very, very good. So it's making me happy, but still isolated.

In between, I read lots of yaoi (gay) manga. I worked with a couple of groups that translated and reworked some of my favorite writers, but that's done for now. I'm still LJ-centric, and don't even have a Tumblr account.

I worry that me talking too much about these fandoms is guaranteed to bore the rest of you. I remember how it was back in the day for me, when a lot of HP fans first started getting into Prince of Tennis, and I was all, "What is this all about, you guys, get a grip and just focus on what I'm interested in, okay?" Even though I knew I was being unfair. I have zero hope of swaying anyone to join me in my new fandoms, either. In the past, I tried and tried to spread my love for Japanese rock and managed, after endlessly blogging and cajoling my friends and my LJ readers, to convince exactly no one to succumb.

Which leads to the elephant in the room, I suppose – I am no longer writing for Harry Potter fandom. I'm pretty sure it was obvious, of course, but now it's in writing. I just don't have anything new to say, and the characters don't speak to me the way they once did. I still read HP fics now and then, but nowhere near the volume I used to. I see that some of you are taking down your old stories. I don't think that's wrong, necessarily, and there's room for everyone to do what they think is best, but I won't ever do it myself. But then, I have no risk involved: no job to worry about losing, no family who would disown me or anything. I think that these stories form part of a shared fandom history. I know I benefit a great deal now by finding old stories from Loveless and Saiyuki. And yes, I still am grateful and pleased when I get comments on my old stuff.

I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect. Meeting so many of you in person changed me forever, and I'm not just saying that as trite bs. Even now, I meet yearly for a long weekend with a beloved group of fannish women whom I met first on LJ. And I think we'll keep it up until we're together in the nursing home, writing hot porn for the other old ladies. Except they'll be writing Sherlock and I'll be writing Saiyuki.

Comments

[sassy-cissa.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear from you!! The one thing I love about LJ and fandom is that no matter how long you're gone....you can always come home.

Welcome home. ♥

[djin7.livejournal.com]

Love that! Home. :)

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Yep, our old friends are there to welcome us. Although I think it's like coming home as a grown adult comes home to parents - your old My Little Ponies are still there on the bedroom shelf, but maybe Mom's got her sewing machine in there now, too, and your bedspread is one you aren't familiar with.

But dinners are still scrumptious!

[photoash.livejournal.com]

Hey you! :) Glad to see an update <3

I am like you, I read lj very frequently but never post anymore :/ I just don't have much to say. I fell in love with marvel (well with Bucky and Steve <3 so many feels :D ) but otherwise I'm kinda meh. I liked Loveless forever ago :) when it was popular. I didn't know it was still being published but sad to hear it's going nowhere :/ bummer. the artwork was so gorgeous O_O though!

Did you watch Kids on the slope? I really really liked it and saw it a couple years ago. I recommend from an anime pov of just something pretty and interesting to watch :) and five centimeters per second was gorgeous it's just a one off.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised you used to be a Loveless fan. I like the artwork, plus I like how messed up most of the characters are, psychologically. It's really creative and engaging to me but apparently not to the mangaka, although she worked them into a very interesting bunch of cliff-hangers. After TokyoPop went under, Vis picked up the English publications, and went as far as retranslating and reissuing all of the earlier versions as well. Volume 12 just came out a few weeks ago, but of course that's at least a year behind the Japanese releases.

I cannot wait to see what happens with English releases by Miyamoto Kano! I still adore her stuff to bits, although the latest scanlations are less than what we know they could be.

I've never even heard of those two animes, so I'll have to check them out, thanks!

[djin7.livejournal.com]

<3 I have a couple of those, also! Dead fandoms or very inactive ones. But I actually forced myself to seek out an active one; I am so accustomed now to having copious amounts of fanfic and excitement at my fingertips for so long, thanks to being spoiled by the Harry Potter Fandom.

So, I actually *forced* myself to wade into the Supernatural Fandom. I'd heard about the crazy, but thought, erroneously, as it turns out, that it couldn't be *worse* than the Harry Potter fandom. Or like the BtVs fandom before it. That said, I'm a veteran, now. I can avoid the wank faster than a ninja on speed these days. I don't hesitate to get out of the frying pan before anything happens, so I can thank HP for that, too.

But the SPN fic, excepting the disappointing amount of locked-down, flounced, purged from the wanks, is magnificent. And the omgwoahpretteh on tumblr is goddamn good, too. The show is in its tenth year, and that means more is coming. So yay!

Join us for the HP reunion, though. No fic required, just hanging out and reminiscing!

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Yes, I really hope to join the HP reunion. I thought that was such an inspired idea, and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

I'm not sure I could bite on Supernatural. I think I've become too aware of the wank even from a distance. Plus I don't seem to be able to engage in TV or movie fandoms nearly as well as I can the print ones. I need time to digest the source material and books/manga seem to be the perfect pace for me.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Hi there! Yeah, like you, I'm on LJ every day, but I just haven't had post ideas that I thought would be interesting. I'm still clinging to anime in places--there's a new season right now of Kuroshitsuji, so that's a nice revival for me.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

A new season? WHAT?

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus! They're adapting the Circus arc. It's supposed to take place within the events of season one. How 'bout that, huh? :D

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

You'll laugh, but I've been dutifully saving all of the releases of Kuroshitsuji on my hard drive, yet I'm unable to begin because OMG, so many! One day I surely will, but today is not that day.

While I've got you handy, I did want to personally rec you a fic. IIRC, you're big on fairy tales, too. This story is nominally from the Saiyuki fandom but it's such an AU that the only thing left from the original is hair and eye color of two of the characters. Otherwise, it's damn near original fic and perhaps you'll enjoy it as much as I did. It's called Ragnarr and the Trow Wife (http://archiveofourown.org/works/67446) by Avierra.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Hello Viki dearest <3

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Penny! *glomps* Nice to hear from ya!

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

hi
*waves*
nice to hear from you
I think a lot of us are going through the same HP detachment. I keep my LJ really for the purpose of loosely keeping in touch with some really great people, even if I'm not actively reading or writing. All good :)

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

*waves back* And it's great to see you here, too!

I think I finally admitted that I still read everyone, and bless those who post. So I need to reciprocate at least now and again or none of us will have anything to read at all.

I even like to read about families and life and stuff. So I need to share moar.

[lousy-science.livejournal.com]

Hey! I have similar not-hot-for-Sherlock-or-Avengers ...not issues, but the thing, you know? And I miss having my tight old fandom connections. But still, it was good times then and there's still plenty of us old-porn-writing-hags around.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean I want to like these shiny new fandoms that my other friends do, but it just ain't happening for me. And I think it's because I really prefer the written word to the visual. Not exclusively, mind you, but strongly.

On the plus side, there seems to be an actual Saiyuki fandom that's active, and I'm beginning to discover it just now. *keeps fingers crossed*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Heh, I was gonna point you to chomiji but I see you already know each other.

I totally get where you're coming from - I'm not in any mainstream fandoms now, basically just Yuletide-sized stuff. Ah, well.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

You always pop up with fandoms I've never even heard of that require my handy Google-fu to learn about. I see that you were a Saiyuki fan back in the day (or your name's on some of the community lists I'm just now discovering.

Like you said, your running is a fandom, too. And a big congrats on the upcoming 2015 event; I'm really happy for you!

Chomiji is patiently dealing with my fandom excitement this week (like you used to do for me). I'm trying not to be a real pest. How'd you guys connect?

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say I had been in the fandom, exactly, but I did read the Saiyuki Gaiden series and read a bit of fic.

Aw, thank you. I'm looking forward to running the course better than I did in 2010, which did not quite go as planned.

And...we connected through Sutcliff novel fandom, but quickly discovered that we moved in the same circles back in our University of Maryland days. I'm not sure we actually met, but we have lots of old friends in common and attended many of the same events.

[cordelia_v]

Re the fannish nursing home, hell yeah! Except by that time, I will have time to read your fanfics. And I will, no matter what the fandom. On some level, good porn is good porn, you know?

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Maybe we should build a home for old fangirls in the northwest? All of the aides could be hot and we'd mentally pair them up in new permutations all day long.

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect.

Oh, goodness, yes. I basically stopped writing fic with the last round of hd_holidays (I have one unfinished H/D fic that was soclose to being complete that I still occasionally harbor delusions of finishing it, but I think the time for that has now passed). I'm still hovering around the edges of online fandom over on Tumblr (mostly for--yes, sorry--Sherlock and Marvel, haha), but that seems so much shallower and less centralized, and the experience isn't nearly as satisfying. Most of my fangirling these days is with a handful of local friends who get together for Sherlock marathons. (They're not slashers, alas. But they humor me.)

But, oh, yes, do I ever sometimes miss the sense of community that came with LJ, and being lucky enough to meet lovely people like you at cons. ♥

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

mostly for--yes, sorry--Sherlock and Marvel

You are dead to me!!!

Emma Grant is leading the current "Tumblr sucks for fandom" parade, so I get a lot of my feelings about that from her, but a lot of my other friends say the same thing: Tumblr does not build fandom community. And that makes me very sad.

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

Tumblr has pretty much always sucked for fandom, as far as I can tell, haha. Great for funny pictures and GIFs and one-click me-too-ism, but, yeah, very much not a place that fosters community. :(

[tipgardner.livejournal.com]

Hiya! I read sometimes and I post almost never, but I'm glad I stopped by and saw this! :-) Alright?

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Yes, I notice it's been longer between posts for you than even for me! Time gets away from us.

I'm good, hope you are as well. I intend to post more in general. I will, I will!

[dbassassin.livejournal.com]

Hey there!

Finding a new fandom is a weird process, isn't it? After HP, everything else seems pretty small. I can understand liking a show/movie/whatever and haveing zero interest in the fandom; I've had that experience with BSG and Life on Mars.

I suppose it takes more effort to maintain fandom frienships when you no longer share a fandom with people.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Since HP, all of the fandoms I like have been small. And print, mostly. It's such a shock to discover that I can read all of the available fanfic in a week.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Hugs! I think that the fandom culture under which we met is now dead. And I wonder if that doesn't play into the disconnect so many of us feel. It's impossible to connect because the culture has become too ephemeral, too limited. If it's all pretty GIFs (I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar every time I'ver heard people say that very phrase to describe tumblr), then there is no "there" there. I'm SO glad that we connected when it was possible to connect with people. You know, form ACTUAL friendships. I can truly say those were the days.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

I really think you're right about the loss of our fannish culture, and I get really maudlin and emo about it on occasion. Still, it's better to have squeed and lost than never to have squeed at all, or something like that. It was a special thing, and a special time, with special people. I'm really glad we've managed to hang on to part of it, anyway, and it really comes down to the people when all is said and done. *mwah*

[dracofiend.livejournal.com]

Hi hi hi! Quick check of the flist after the Snarry Games mini reunion email! Sounds like things are going well; still got that zest for fandom, which is fantastic! I also miss the height of HP fandom - those were fun times! But it's so great to know that anytime, you can jump back in and find funny, interesting, romantic, dramatic, engaging fic on here, in just about any fandom that you happen to be into at the moment, and chat with folks. Love it! :)

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

It's been way too long since I've seen that distinctive Draco icon of yours, and it made me quiver! I see you're in White Collar fandom these days. photoash, above, is a big fan too and I even went so far as to watch an episode or two, which is a big step for me. Sadly, lightening failed to make an appearance, as usual.

So nice to chat with you anytime, of course!

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

nice to see a post from you. i don't think there are many of the old fandom gang left in hp (some, i know, but not many). still i cherish post on lj from those i met at the first conferences and shared hp love with.

i miss a lot of what we had, though am grateful for what has changed and what i've gained.

i'm off wandering around superheroes these days, when i even have time to read anything. working in publishing means i am never in need of something to read!

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

All the cool kids are hanging with superheroes, it seems.

I think I've seen more of the old gang posting lately (in the last 6 months, say). Not a lot, just enough to let me know they're not all gone entirely. So I thought I'd make a little noise, too.

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

I'm not really in any fandom at the moment, either, and it's kind of weird and kind of sad. I do still feel like I'm in fandom in general, but I don't really talk about fannish stuff much. I feel like a lot of the energy that I was putting into writing fic is now going into scanlations.

Anyway, whether you are posting about fandoms we don't share or just general life stuff, I'm always happy to see you pop up on my flist. :)

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

You are one of the posters who keeps me going with LJ (I read you here because I bought myself a permanent account waaay back when and by God, Imma get my money's worth out of our Russian overlords!) Most of the time I haven't got much to say back, but I do read each of your posts. You're so conscientious about keeping up with it, I'm impressed.

[machi-sama.livejournal.com]

I feel the same. Hahaha. I am into the vkei band black gene for the next scene right now.... But almost no one else is.... Yeah, and once i got nostalgic and downloaded so many old GW fics. So happy they are still around. :-)

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

I actually know of Black Gene for the Next Scene but I haven't actually glommed onto any of their stuff. Now I'm intrigued. There are so many VK bands coming and going that it's hard to keep track of them all. My current favorites are D'espairsRay (even though they've disbanded), and Kiyoharu in all of his various incarnations, and Hakuei's bunch of groups too.

[who_la_hoop]

The quality of Saiyuki fic in general is AMAZING. I've never been in a fandom - though I only dabbled in it, really - where the fic is such high quality.

I know what you mean by this post though; part of the fun of fandom is sharing your squee with others, so it's not the same when you turn up to a fandom that's dead or nearly dead, however much you want it to be.

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

I'm just so thrilled at all the fic I'm reading! And your Saiyuki stories definitely fall into the amazing category, too.

The more I poke around, the more activity I find in Saiyuki. Which is hopeful. Chapters come out with regularity even though its author has gone through some serious health issues in the past few years. Loveless, OTOH, remains dead; this week the mangaka re-upped her hiatus for another undefined length. If I were the companies that have invested in her, I'd be pretty pissed off. It's one thing for fannish writers to never finish their WIPs; for someone who's making money off her fans to do the same thing is a poor showing, I think.

[who_la_hoop]

Thank you! Have any English publishers picked up Saiyuki Blast? Every now and then I check back with the main comms to read scanlations, but I SO much prefer physical copies of manga.

You've probably found them already, but I recall these two exchanges being the main ones when I was semi-active - and I think they still are:
http://7thnight-smut.dreamwidth.org
http://valentine-smut.dreamwidth.org

Loveless is endlessly frustrating; like you, I'm not convinced it'll ever be finished :(

[geoviki.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the links! I've read stories that were created for those archives but I haven't actually hit the archive yet, so now I can.

Nope, Blast isn't coming out in English anywhere, AFAIK. It seems there are fewer English manga publishers now, and Viz, for example, is already working on Loveless. They re-translated all of Tokyo Pop's earlier Loveless releases, too, and now they're left hanging (they've just released Vol. 12). I suspect they're wary of staring another Tokyo Pop orphan. Wish they would, though.