One human at a time...
Feb. 14th, 2004 05:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geovikiI don't usually post back to back. But I'm fuming about something today.
Coming back from watching my son play indoor soccer (hey, they won again!), we discovered a missive in our neighborhood.
My husband noted, looking out the window this morning, that it looked like someone had tossed some dog excrement in a bag into our neighbor's driveway. He was right, but in a more metaphorical sense.
My son said he'd tossed one from our driveway into the bushes. I unearthed it. It was an "invitation", as a presumed white person, to join a white racist group. Slogan: "Love Your Race". With a picture of someone who could pass for Narcissa Malfoy (probably appropriate in the circumstances).
I'd read about this sort of abhorrent behavior. I never expected it at my home. I felt like scrubbing the driveway with strong soap and bleach.
Okay, so that was an awful moment. But it was redeemed for me in that my daughter, who had seen similar stuff displayed in her high school "Peace Jam" Club, echoed her disgust. As did my son.
And it brought home the realization that many of these ideas die out from generation to generation. My father was a racist. As was his mother. During the Detroit riots in the late '60's, our reactionary neighbors passed out guns to each other, even though we were 30 miles from any kind of disturbance. It used to drive me up the wall as a teen, even though I was reared in what is known as one of the whitest suburbs of its size in the Detroit area. But I am emphatically not racist. And my children barely know what the idea encompasses. I have no problem whatsoever in them marrying anyone from another race, sex, creed. And we've made that clear to them. As long as respect and love play a major role in their choice.
Which brings to mind the events in the US today: numerous gay and lesbian couples are petitioning for marriage licenses. There was a rally today in Denver; if said soccer game had not interfered, I'd have lent my support. My best friend is a black lesbian; I've worked with her for 25 years. My husband and I are in agreement: it's a matter of legal equality. Laws will not prevent cohabitation, obviously. I see it as one of the last frontiers, a successor of the civil rights movement. In 25 years, we'll look back in astonishment at the blindness of people fighting for the "marriage sanctity" concept, such as I am boggled at the efforts of racists in years past. (The first house we bought had existing covenants in place - struck down by state laws, thank god - that limited sales to white people).
Okay. I realize I'm preaching to the choir. I'm done. But I'm damn proud of my kids, and hope they are the wave of the future.
Coming back from watching my son play indoor soccer (hey, they won again!), we discovered a missive in our neighborhood.
My husband noted, looking out the window this morning, that it looked like someone had tossed some dog excrement in a bag into our neighbor's driveway. He was right, but in a more metaphorical sense.
My son said he'd tossed one from our driveway into the bushes. I unearthed it. It was an "invitation", as a presumed white person, to join a white racist group. Slogan: "Love Your Race". With a picture of someone who could pass for Narcissa Malfoy (probably appropriate in the circumstances).
I'd read about this sort of abhorrent behavior. I never expected it at my home. I felt like scrubbing the driveway with strong soap and bleach.
Okay, so that was an awful moment. But it was redeemed for me in that my daughter, who had seen similar stuff displayed in her high school "Peace Jam" Club, echoed her disgust. As did my son.
And it brought home the realization that many of these ideas die out from generation to generation. My father was a racist. As was his mother. During the Detroit riots in the late '60's, our reactionary neighbors passed out guns to each other, even though we were 30 miles from any kind of disturbance. It used to drive me up the wall as a teen, even though I was reared in what is known as one of the whitest suburbs of its size in the Detroit area. But I am emphatically not racist. And my children barely know what the idea encompasses. I have no problem whatsoever in them marrying anyone from another race, sex, creed. And we've made that clear to them. As long as respect and love play a major role in their choice.
Which brings to mind the events in the US today: numerous gay and lesbian couples are petitioning for marriage licenses. There was a rally today in Denver; if said soccer game had not interfered, I'd have lent my support. My best friend is a black lesbian; I've worked with her for 25 years. My husband and I are in agreement: it's a matter of legal equality. Laws will not prevent cohabitation, obviously. I see it as one of the last frontiers, a successor of the civil rights movement. In 25 years, we'll look back in astonishment at the blindness of people fighting for the "marriage sanctity" concept, such as I am boggled at the efforts of racists in years past. (The first house we bought had existing covenants in place - struck down by state laws, thank god - that limited sales to white people).
Okay. I realize I'm preaching to the choir. I'm done. But I'm damn proud of my kids, and hope they are the wave of the future.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-15 11:29 am (UTC)Is that true? That would be nice. And it seems I've seen many examples of it, where the children are less racist than the parents. Yet where do the new racists come from?
I guess I could be an example but I never felt like I really managed it. My parents are very racist and I always feel like I'm trying too consciously to fight their ideas in my head--like I don't actually know what is proper and I'm just flailing.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-17 12:42 pm (UTC)Sometimes I definitely feel a fear of strangers, and often they are people very different from me. But it's a fear of the unknown.
New racists are cultivated from ignorance. Society now treats them as outcasts for the most part. As we should.
If you are fighting your parents' ideas, then you do know what's proper, otherwise you'd not question it. I think the difficulty lies in what to do. No one wants to look like they're replacing racism with patronism. I fell into that trap when I was in college. Growing up in an all-white world, I was determined to break through the barrier. So I tried to make friends with the blacks in our dorm, and was shocked when they didn't want any part of it. I mean, really! Couldn't they see how sincere I was? Then I finally figured out I was just using them, just in a different way, to prove how open-minded I was. I wasn't interested in them as individuals, but as symbols of my good and great white benevolence. Big wake up call.
Now I just treat each person how I find them. Or I try my hardest.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-17 08:58 am (UTC)And it brought home the realization that many of these ideas die out from generation to generation.
I do hope so. I grew up in a village in which people were very narrow-minded, but my parents weren't racists. Perhaps it's got something to do with the fact that they were much better educated than the majority of the people there. We never actually talked about racism at home, and I cannot understand why some people can't tolerate people that are different from them.
Apparently such people still exist, even in younger generations. When I was at school two of my friends were lesbia or bi, I'm not quite sure. They never talked about it, but I think that everyone who was close to them guessed it. But when they came out and people discovered they were a couple, their younger siblings were bullied at school. Young children can be very cruel.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-17 12:49 pm (UTC)I agree with your perception. I think homosexuality is the last holdout for the racist. We're having a lot of stir locally in our state legislature, echoing what is happening in America. I think if those kinds of comments were instead attributed to different races, we'd be properly appalled. I also think in 20 years, we'll look back and be properly appalled.
And kids can be horrible, but I think they're more equal-opportunity awful. They look for targets everywhere - fat, short, handicapped, nerdy - then they hone in. It's their attempt at groupthink. And the kids who don't say it are too afraid to stop it. My kids go to school in the district where Columbine happened, so we've had a lot reported about that culture of abuse. But intelligent kids outgrow it if they are taught from wiser heads.