Just wanted to point out a couple moments of brilliance in this part. Namely:
He slowed to let the man catch up, feeling the first tug on his sleeve as soft as a fish mouthing the lure. Nice; the imagery here is really apt.
there was that breathless moment when everything was poised on the head of a pin For some reason, this reminds me of "J. Alfred Prufrock." I don't know if that was the intention, but any excuse to think about Eliot is fine by me.
And, just to even things out all yin-and-yang-like, I have to say I'm not too sure about the "human smorgasbord" bit. I know what you meant, but still, it conjures up images that are decidedly Donner-ish. To me, anyway. :P
So, that's my 2¥. Hope to read more of your fics in the future!
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Date: 2008-02-09 12:53 pm (UTC)Just wanted to point out a couple moments of brilliance in this part. Namely:
He slowed to let the man catch up, feeling the first tug on his sleeve as soft as a fish mouthing the lure.
Nice; the imagery here is really apt.
there was that breathless moment when everything was poised on the head of a pin
For some reason, this reminds me of "J. Alfred Prufrock." I don't know if that was the intention, but any excuse to think about Eliot is fine by me.
And, just to even things out all yin-and-yang-like, I have to say I'm not too sure about the "human smorgasbord" bit. I know what you meant, but still, it conjures up images that are decidedly Donner-ish. To me, anyway. :P
So, that's my 2¥. Hope to read more of your fics in the future!