My Fannish Heart

[geoviki]

How did 11 months go by without me posting? Like this: whooooosh!

So hi, everyone who still might be here. I never imagined myself turning into an LJ lurker, but apparently I have. I still click on my flist all the time, but I've just felt, I dunno, thinking that my fannish interests and little life stories would just be dull reading. But so many of you have popped up on LJ recently that I feel inspired! However, I'll break it down into separate posts so you're not overwhelmed by TMI.


This is Big Reason #1 why I haven't posted. I seem to be involved in fannish material with no active fandoms. Or else I haven't found the bulk of the activity. And none of my current interests seem to be what I see the rest of you into, sadly. Most of you are big into Sherlock, and of course I've watched the BBC episodes and enjoyed them. And I started to read some of the fanfic, and being the great writers that you are, they were great. But. You know how you discover sometimes that you just aren't falling for a fandom? You know your friends love it, their recommendations are heart-felt and moving, but it's just not working that way for you. Well, it seems like I just can't help but friend-zone Sherlock. And the same goes for the other big fandom, Avengers/Marvel. And how sorry I am that I can't feel that love in the same way you do.

Instead, I always seem to fall for the class geek these days.

Last year I waxed poetic about my newfound love for the manga series Loveless. I know there are 2 or 3 of you who also got into it at one point. A year later, I'm still interested in it. The big problem, though, is that there is no longer an active fandom for it, as far as I can tell. And the major reason for that (er, I mean apart from the fact that it doesn't have much source material, and it's a Japanese-based manga) is that the writer herself is blatantly bored with continuing it and hasn't written any new plot (only filler) for over a year, leaving everyone hanging. This is a series that began in 2002. Those 28 important plot questions that I listed last year? Are still hanging without resolution, and a few more have been added to the list. So its once-active fandom basically has moved on to other things. I feel like I showed up to a party about an hour after everyone has gone home, and I'm poking around the potato chip crumbs and melted ice in the punch bowl, thinking that it looks like it was fun.

My new, new fandom is yet another manga, Saiyuki. This one is a little more active as far as I can tell, but I'm too new to be connected yet. I'm in the read-every-bit-of-original-material and inhale-all-of-the-fic stage. And a surprising amount of the fic is very, very good. So it's making me happy, but still isolated.

In between, I read lots of yaoi (gay) manga. I worked with a couple of groups that translated and reworked some of my favorite writers, but that's done for now. I'm still LJ-centric, and don't even have a Tumblr account.

I worry that me talking too much about these fandoms is guaranteed to bore the rest of you. I remember how it was back in the day for me, when a lot of HP fans first started getting into Prince of Tennis, and I was all, "What is this all about, you guys, get a grip and just focus on what I'm interested in, okay?" Even though I knew I was being unfair. I have zero hope of swaying anyone to join me in my new fandoms, either. In the past, I tried and tried to spread my love for Japanese rock and managed, after endlessly blogging and cajoling my friends and my LJ readers, to convince exactly no one to succumb.

Which leads to the elephant in the room, I suppose – I am no longer writing for Harry Potter fandom. I'm pretty sure it was obvious, of course, but now it's in writing. I just don't have anything new to say, and the characters don't speak to me the way they once did. I still read HP fics now and then, but nowhere near the volume I used to. I see that some of you are taking down your old stories. I don't think that's wrong, necessarily, and there's room for everyone to do what they think is best, but I won't ever do it myself. But then, I have no risk involved: no job to worry about losing, no family who would disown me or anything. I think that these stories form part of a shared fandom history. I know I benefit a great deal now by finding old stories from Loveless and Saiyuki. And yes, I still am grateful and pleased when I get comments on my old stuff.

I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect. Meeting so many of you in person changed me forever, and I'm not just saying that as trite bs. Even now, I meet yearly for a long weekend with a beloved group of fannish women whom I met first on LJ. And I think we'll keep it up until we're together in the nursing home, writing hot porn for the other old ladies. Except they'll be writing Sherlock and I'll be writing Saiyuki.

Comments

[sassy-cissa.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear from you!! The one thing I love about LJ and fandom is that no matter how long you're gone....you can always come home.

Welcome home. ♥

[photoash.livejournal.com]

Hey you! :) Glad to see an update <3

I am like you, I read lj very frequently but never post anymore :/ I just don't have much to say. I fell in love with marvel (well with Bucky and Steve <3 so many feels :D ) but otherwise I'm kinda meh. I liked Loveless forever ago :) when it was popular. I didn't know it was still being published but sad to hear it's going nowhere :/ bummer. the artwork was so gorgeous O_O though!

Did you watch Kids on the slope? I really really liked it and saw it a couple years ago. I recommend from an anime pov of just something pretty and interesting to watch :) and five centimeters per second was gorgeous it's just a one off.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

<3 I have a couple of those, also! Dead fandoms or very inactive ones. But I actually forced myself to seek out an active one; I am so accustomed now to having copious amounts of fanfic and excitement at my fingertips for so long, thanks to being spoiled by the Harry Potter Fandom.

So, I actually *forced* myself to wade into the Supernatural Fandom. I'd heard about the crazy, but thought, erroneously, as it turns out, that it couldn't be *worse* than the Harry Potter fandom. Or like the BtVs fandom before it. That said, I'm a veteran, now. I can avoid the wank faster than a ninja on speed these days. I don't hesitate to get out of the frying pan before anything happens, so I can thank HP for that, too.

But the SPN fic, excepting the disappointing amount of locked-down, flounced, purged from the wanks, is magnificent. And the omgwoahpretteh on tumblr is goddamn good, too. The show is in its tenth year, and that means more is coming. So yay!

Join us for the HP reunion, though. No fic required, just hanging out and reminiscing!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Hi there! Yeah, like you, I'm on LJ every day, but I just haven't had post ideas that I thought would be interesting. I'm still clinging to anime in places--there's a new season right now of Kuroshitsuji, so that's a nice revival for me.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Hello Viki dearest <3

[rickey-a.livejournal.com]

hi
*waves*
nice to hear from you
I think a lot of us are going through the same HP detachment. I keep my LJ really for the purpose of loosely keeping in touch with some really great people, even if I'm not actively reading or writing. All good :)

[lousy-science.livejournal.com]

Hey! I have similar not-hot-for-Sherlock-or-Avengers ...not issues, but the thing, you know? And I miss having my tight old fandom connections. But still, it was good times then and there's still plenty of us old-porn-writing-hags around.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Heh, I was gonna point you to chomiji but I see you already know each other.

I totally get where you're coming from - I'm not in any mainstream fandoms now, basically just Yuletide-sized stuff. Ah, well.

[cordelia_v]

Re the fannish nursing home, hell yeah! Except by that time, I will have time to read your fanfics. And I will, no matter what the fandom. On some level, good porn is good porn, you know?

[novembersnow.livejournal.com]

I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect.

Oh, goodness, yes. I basically stopped writing fic with the last round of hd_holidays (I have one unfinished H/D fic that was soclose to being complete that I still occasionally harbor delusions of finishing it, but I think the time for that has now passed). I'm still hovering around the edges of online fandom over on Tumblr (mostly for--yes, sorry--Sherlock and Marvel, haha), but that seems so much shallower and less centralized, and the experience isn't nearly as satisfying. Most of my fangirling these days is with a handful of local friends who get together for Sherlock marathons. (They're not slashers, alas. But they humor me.)

But, oh, yes, do I ever sometimes miss the sense of community that came with LJ, and being lucky enough to meet lovely people like you at cons. ♥

[tipgardner.livejournal.com]

Hiya! I read sometimes and I post almost never, but I'm glad I stopped by and saw this! :-) Alright?

[dbassassin.livejournal.com]

Hey there!

Finding a new fandom is a weird process, isn't it? After HP, everything else seems pretty small. I can understand liking a show/movie/whatever and haveing zero interest in the fandom; I've had that experience with BSG and Life on Mars.

I suppose it takes more effort to maintain fandom frienships when you no longer share a fandom with people.

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

Hugs! I think that the fandom culture under which we met is now dead. And I wonder if that doesn't play into the disconnect so many of us feel. It's impossible to connect because the culture has become too ephemeral, too limited. If it's all pretty GIFs (I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar every time I'ver heard people say that very phrase to describe tumblr), then there is no "there" there. I'm SO glad that we connected when it was possible to connect with people. You know, form ACTUAL friendships. I can truly say those were the days.

[dracofiend.livejournal.com]

Hi hi hi! Quick check of the flist after the Snarry Games mini reunion email! Sounds like things are going well; still got that zest for fandom, which is fantastic! I also miss the height of HP fandom - those were fun times! But it's so great to know that anytime, you can jump back in and find funny, interesting, romantic, dramatic, engaging fic on here, in just about any fandom that you happen to be into at the moment, and chat with folks. Love it! :)

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

nice to see a post from you. i don't think there are many of the old fandom gang left in hp (some, i know, but not many). still i cherish post on lj from those i met at the first conferences and shared hp love with.

i miss a lot of what we had, though am grateful for what has changed and what i've gained.

i'm off wandering around superheroes these days, when i even have time to read anything. working in publishing means i am never in need of something to read!

[kyuuketsukirui.livejournal.com]

I'm not really in any fandom at the moment, either, and it's kind of weird and kind of sad. I do still feel like I'm in fandom in general, but I don't really talk about fannish stuff much. I feel like a lot of the energy that I was putting into writing fic is now going into scanlations.

Anyway, whether you are posting about fandoms we don't share or just general life stuff, I'm always happy to see you pop up on my flist. :)

[machi-sama.livejournal.com]

I feel the same. Hahaha. I am into the vkei band black gene for the next scene right now.... But almost no one else is.... Yeah, and once i got nostalgic and downloaded so many old GW fics. So happy they are still around. :-)

[who_la_hoop]

The quality of Saiyuki fic in general is AMAZING. I've never been in a fandom - though I only dabbled in it, really - where the fic is such high quality.

I know what you mean by this post though; part of the fun of fandom is sharing your squee with others, so it's not the same when you turn up to a fandom that's dead or nearly dead, however much you want it to be.